A Phoenix Rising

Pass the aux cord because I’m ready to blaze

Using the rhythm of my heart to elevate above the maze

As I am no longer afraid

I’m ready to grab the mic and be centre stage, to my life

No longer afraid to face the complexities

That come with trying to navigate my life

I’m willing to be comfortably uncomfortable

To turn my dreams into a reality

Because my breath is no more powerful than the next mans

I deserve a chance like everyone else to live

To live and to fight for my freedom, to fight for happiness

I’m ready to reclaim my identity

To pick up the pieces to put myself together again

So pass the aux cord, because I’m ready to scream

Scream until I can hear my own voice again

Scream until until I’ve made my mark on the world

I owe it to myself and to everyone who always rooted for me

Even when I stopped rooting for myself.

-Teags

Evolution

Me: I love you, every second we’re together I feel young again

You: Like I’m on top of the world

Me: I don’t want to lose you …

_________________________________________

Your supple but thinning lips

Your bright but withering smile

Spinning gracefully in your strong but wrinkling arms

Shifting in and out of youth

How the years have gone by

I love the butterfly we’ve become

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From the handprints in the sand

To the tire tracks on the motorway

And the impressions on these foam hospital beds

We left our stamp on all corners of the map

Forming permanent imprints on our hearts

____________________________________________

We have grown old and young together

Forever, and never apart

As we cuddle in our last moments

Our spines interlock and transform into steel gates

Protecting the matters of the heart

___________________________________________

Slowly our bodies are morphing into the unknown

Giving up the fight

Our spirits are set free

See you on the other side my twin

It’s been one hell of a ride

Evolving with you

__________________________________________

…

You: Never apart.

Me: Never apart.

-Teags

Broken Record/ Let The Record Play

Running through the sand making imprints

The tide rolls in

I reverse, imprinting my footsteps again

The tide rolls in

I run forward through the sand again

Deepening these prints a little more

Then the tide rolls in

I reverse again

Tide rolls in

I start running forward again

When will I lift the stylus off this broken record

And stop trying to perfect the line of the song that can’t be fixed

Let the record play,

Cause the reality is each scratch eventually allows you to appreciate the smooth parts to your song even more

And the reality is, life would be predictable and boring without the flare of the scratch

So let the tide roll in

Leave those footprints behind and make new ones

Embraces your scratches and let the record play.

-Teags

Hitting a brick wall

Fallen flat on my face again

Head numb against the concrete

Looking at the closed door across the room

Locked in this tower and I have the key

If only I could feel my face again

If only I could feel the cold air flowing through the cracks of the brick walls

If only I could feel the dust piling up against my face

If only I could convince myself this was real

__________________________________

I can hear the floorboards creak as I walk towards the door

and I see myself open the door slowly

But then I stop halfway and walk back towards my body lying on the floor

and merge back into myself again

If only I could convince myself this was real

__________________________________

So now I’m just lying here in this tower I created

Holding the masterkey

But I won’t move

Because to me, life beyond that door doesn’t exist for people like me.

But if only I knew that statement was false

and the opportunities I could create for myself are real.

-Teags

My 1st Panic Attack in Public

Leave me alone

Just leave

Leave please!

LEAVE

Leave

Le…..

…..

_________________________________

U saw me leave the room

U knew I needed space

But U still followed me

Followed me out the room

Down the hallway

Down the stairs

Took a left

Walked some more

And turned left again

____________________________________

Sitting here looking at the computer

I can’t remember my username and password

…. eventually I log on

Click on the internet

Go to google

Go to YouTube

Go back to google

Exit the internet and …

Just stare at the screen for awhile

Don’t remember what I came on the computer for

I just needed a distraction I guess

______________________________________

The fire alarm goes off

The bells are ringing

A bomb just dropped

Rain and hail stones

Nature is singing

She won’t shut up

Keeps going on about a frivolous argument we had about a week ago

_________________________________________

Her intentions were raw

She was drenched in the smell of evil

The argument didn’t really matter

She just wanted to see me shrivelled up

Broken into multitudinous, insignificant and futile pieces

So no, she won’t just leave

Just leave

Just leave me alone

– Teags

Old Coat

I’m an old coat in your closet,

I’m always here when u need me but u only ever use me when you’ve dropped something outside in the rain,

As a cover for ur head,

You never wear me anymore,

My sleeves are slowly losing their ability to fit human arms and the dust from the closet has spoilt my fabric,

My buttons are teary, hoping you’ll take me to the charity shop, so I can be loved again.

-Teags

Uncertainty

I reminisce of the good times we had
I play naive to the bad
I turn a blind eye to the sad
I poison and burry the mad
I thought I was over you
I sure I’m over you
Just how comes our friendship couldn’t last
Blast! won’t you comet of the future, into the past
All I say is “I love”
I love
I love
you
I love you
I love him
I loved, I love, I still love
x

~Teags

Tumbleweeds

Planes may soar elegantly in the sky, hybrid cars glide proudly as polution is at a plight , but at the end of the day, the wind whistles loneliness as a tumbleweed rolls by.

Her heart is sore, When it rains it pours, Rebecca’s anxiety reaches its peak, as death knocked at her door.

He’s been gone for a year now and it’s finally starting to sink in, “oh why didn’t I visit him more”, “why didn’t I pop in”.

Forever missing his witty inappropriate jokes with perfect timing, missing his caring heart, the love he shared was blinding.

Rebecca doesn’t know how she will cope, hope is soon to be slain, sitting next to his grave on the grass soaking in the rain, she wonders if she will ever experience happiness again.

Planes may soar elegantly in the sky, hybrid cars glide proudly as polution is at a plight , but at the end of the day, the wind whistles loneliness as tumbleweeds rolls by.

– Teags

Hug

All these years and I still feel empty without your warm embrace.

Who knew that a hug was so powerful.

My back feels hollow, it feels like I lost a part of me.

Wherever I go, whatever the temperature, I wear a coat to temporarily comfort the ice covered hole you left in my back.

It yearns for the tender touch of your fingertips only.

The scars from the ice burns on the back of my neck, are impatiently waiting for the cordial tip toe of your breathe and the healing pierce of your lips.

For you there will always be a dent on my shoulder for your head to rest.

As cheesy as it sounds, my heart is forever locked because your heart is the key.

Everyday I’m wishing that you will come back, give me a hug and set my heart free.

– Teags

Invisibility

I am working on myself, trying to overcome my obstacles on my own and I have come very far from where I was, even though I know I have a long way to go. Despite how far I have come, the feeling of invisibility is something I have had to deal with most of my life and is something I am still battling with. As nervous as I feel, I am sharing this feeling with the world for the first time.

Curvaceous slice carved into my temple,

You C right through me

My temple merges into yours

Clothes to flesh, flesh to clothes

You see right through me

It was a simple enough mistake,

I never wear my heart on my sleeve

Don’t worry I understand,

Chameleon ways never stray.

__________________________________

Vibrations surf through air particles

But fail to play on your ear drums

You cannot hear me

I press send but the characters become deconstructed,

morph into a virus

Your synapses are weakened

You cannot hear me .

___________________________________

Feeling like Heaven is a flight away

and the morgue is home

Reactionary suicide

A part of the walking dead

In practice it’s there

But in theory my pulse is nonexistent

The consumption of invisibility that I face

Is something I can no longer bear

It would be nice to be able to see my reflection in the waters of life again.

– Teags

P.S. ‘Reactionary Suicide’ is a theory from Black Panther Party founder Dr. Huey P. Newton, (R.I.P) in his 1973 autobiography Revolutionary Suicide. I would definitely recommend it if you are interested in a in depth story of the Black Panthers and not what the media would have you believe, or even if you’re just someone who likes biographies.